31 Dec 2020 – THE YEAR OF TRANSFORMATION
WHAT AM I TAKING WITH ME AND WHAT AM I LETTING GO OF?
I was talking to several friends about my rituals towards the turn of the year and since 2020 was so intense, transformative and interesting, I decided to turn it into the final blog post of the year.
At this point: I can’t imagine being employed this year anymore at all. 2020 was such an eventful year – privately, but also collectively speaking. It has taught us so much and it took away so much. In all sorts of different ways. However, I am not going to go into more detail about the collective “Awakening” in this article, or what the bushfires, social uprisings, Covid, Trump and the Amazon have to do with it, because I’ve already written a 4-part blog article about that. In addition, there are many great other articles, podcasts and posts by authors, scientists and spiritual teachers who have taken the time to analyze and share that in more detail.
But I still want to say that spiritually and energetically, collectively, a lot has happened. Especially in us humans. It feels to me like the layers are getting thinner, we are seeing more clearly and are more connected to our intuition. We question more and don’t believe everything society or the media tell us. We are feeling more, becoming conscious of our unconscious “triggers” and learning more than ever about the power of our own thoughts. However, we are also caught up with different past experiences that want to be healed and the shadow sides come out.
But why is this so? We are on the way to find back to our true essence, which we have lost for many years. Our world is mainly controlled by the ego-consciousness. Meaning: we have a bunch of egos telling other egos how to live their lives or not. This is what has created a massive division between people. We have forgotten our true togetherness and are now on the way to transcend our own ego and let more and more our true self speak. With love and compassion. But this can only happen if we face our deepest fears and worries and start to heal our wounds. And yes, we all have them.
Today is also the last full moon in Cancer (I am from the zodiac sign Cancer), so I am just right in my feels and would love to share with you my thoughts about the year 2020.
Personally, I asked myself the following questions:
What did I learn in 2020? What have I achieved in 2020? What do I want to leave behind in 2020? What do I want to achieve in 2021? How and who do I want to be? Who do I want to be with on my journey and who do I not want to be with? What gives me strength? What does not give me strength? And most importantly, what does my heart say?
I wrote down these same questions at the beginning of the year and also made a 5-year plan. I divided this 5-year plan into long-term and short-term goals and wrote down what freedom, love, prosperity and happiness actually mean to me. I also asked myself what is really important for me in life, but most of all I wrote down what I am grateful for in my life.
In addition, I have a mood board hanging in my bedroom, which reminds me of my goals every day. On this mood board you will find the most diverse themes, in the form of images that I have either compiled from Instagram or Pinterest or cut out from magazines. For your inspiration, a little insight from my themes: Where would I like to live? How would I like to live? Who do I want to be around? Where do I see myself professionally? Where do I see myself privately? How do I want to be loved?
Manifestation is so powerful because you are in direct contact with the universe. At the same time, I also write everything down to the smallest detail because it makes my vision even clearer. The universe gives you what you ask for. If you ask for an approximate plan like mine, then you also get that. Just as there are physical laws (for example, the law of gravity), there are also laws that affect us mentally and emotionally and influence our lives: the 7 spiritual laws of the universe.
One law is the law of vibration and the law of attraction. To act in accordance with this law, take the inner attitude that what you want is already there. Hence, you vibrate on this frequency of abundance, instead of lack.
Everything in this universe is energy and in constant motion. Energy always moves on a certain frequency or vibration. If you feel fear, anger or shame, you are in a lower vibration. As soon as you feel love, joy and gratitude, you will be able to perceive a higher vibration. You can perceive the difference through the lightness or heaviness you feel depending on your emotional state. A personal training of mine is that when I feel jealousy, fear or anger, I stop for a moment and try to act like an observer. I consciously try to step out of my thoughts and ask myself why I am feeling the way I am feeling right now. This exercise helps me to stay present and at the same time not to slip into a lower vibration.
The same applies to people or toxic relationships. What we do here on earth and in interpersonal interactions is mirroring. Accordingly, if you are wondering why you keep running into men or women who are not honest and sincere – ask yourself where you are not being honest and sincere with yourself and in your life. If you are constantly running into men or women who can’t make a deeper, emotional connection – ask yourself where YOU may not have fully come to terms with yourself. If you find it hard to trust and get jealous easily, ask yourself why you can’t trust yourself? Where is something missing in your life? Who has taken this trust away from you? What can you do to regain that trust?
“PEOPLE CAN ONLY MEET YOU AS DEEPLY AS THEY HAVE MET THEMSELVES.”
That is why it is so important to realize that you can’t hold on to your past or expectations. Everything is in constant motion and therefore constant change. But we waste our energy (mostly unconsciously) holding on to the past instead of just letting it go. Of course, it is easier said than done, but there are now very good and helpful methods (energy healing, meditations, breathing exercises…) to become centered and to make life worth living. If you have recognized this for yourself, work on yourself and your development every day for something wonderful to come out of it. By law there is no other way! 🙂
Our task down here is to make us free. Free from all the layers. Free from outdated beliefs, opinions, advice and fears that keep us small.
For this reason, I started meditating this year, because the so-called “monkey mind”, as it is called in Buddhism, finally comes to rest. You have the opportunity to go deep inside yourself and listen to what your gut is telling you. The real you, without the chatter from your ego. Also, it is not a matter of the ego being “bad” or “good”. It is a construct of thoughts programmed to be a certain way. It clings to anything that makes it feel “safe”. It ignores anything that makes it feel uncomfortable. The ego wants to be validated and in control and this is what needs to be broken.
2020 taught me not to be afraid of the unknown. I quit my job earlier this year without already having a new job in sight. For the simple reason that my inner voice said: NO. As a result, I went to Bali for a few months, two days before the first lockdown, even though everyone (except my mom) advised me not to. Yet, I had to do it because I felt this inner urge and in the end, it was one of the best decisions of my life. Do I know what the future will bring? No. Do worries and fears come up from time to time? Yes. But they only stay for a few minutes and not for weeks like before, because I have confidence in myself, in my mission and in life and that is finally enough for me.
2020 also taught me how important one’s self-esteem is and where the lack of self-love comes from in the first place and how it manifests itself. Even though you actually think you treat yourself well and lovingly and take care of yourself (in the form of exercise, diet, beauty visits, etc.), how much do you really love yourself? How do you consciously set your boundaries? How do you express your truth? Why is external confirmation and recognition important to you? For what reason is it hard for you to say “no” and to want to constantly please all your friends/acquaintances? These are questions that I have spent hours, weeks, months dealing with, and I always remind myself of them when needed. Find your way to the people who give you energy and avoid people who keep setting you back and robbing you of your energy. You have a right to be yourself. You have a right to be content and happy in this world!
2020 has taught me, above all, to be patient. Patient with myself and my inner healing but also patient with my next steps. Everything will come the way it’s supposed to if you don’t interfere. This does not mean that you sit in your room and everything comes as you dream it. You have to work towards your dream and take the necessary steps that are in your power beforehand. Also, get away from perfectionism. Being patient also means being loving with yourself and not being deterred if one or the other has recorded a better or more professional podcast, for example. Learning by doing! Focus on yourself and your own personal development.
2020 also taught me to let go. To let go of old, toxic patterns of behavior, of certain people, and of expectations I had of myself and other people. Also, stop forcing certain things. I realized that everyone is on their own journey, at their own unique pace. Just because you have the solution to the “problem” doesn’t mean they want to hear it. On the contrary, it’s not your job to impose anything on anyone. No one wants to be “fixed.” That is the ego’s desire to control another person to fit your idea of how things should be. All you can do is work on yourself. This does not mean that you have to tolerate negativity or abuse from other people. Set your healthy boundaries and speak your truth. Stay with yourself. This phrase from my mom has come up as often as the word “Corona” this year.
Be open. 2020 has opened the door to my inner healing even more. I got involved with ayahuasca and kambo for the first time and learned so much about the medicine, the universe and me (us) that I have felt an endless gratitude ever since. Being tolerant of other opinions, feeling tolerance towards people who don’t quite understand your journey. No one is in the other’s shoes. Always remember that.
2020 – thank you for this transformative year. Most of all, thank you for helping me realize my calling and finding the clarity in my life to match. My intention is to help as many people as possible to release and heal their inner blocks, so that they can live more freely and fulfilled. We all deserve it. We all deserve to love and be loved and we all deserve to live in abundance. Now is the time to recognize all blockages and wounds, to look at them closely, to heal and to transform them. Because you will only be able to live a full and authentic life when you face your inner shadows.
What words will I take with me into 2021? Trust, intuition and (self)love. Which words do I leave in 2020? Fear, perfectionism, overthinking
To develop your own personality is a life task. Therefore, do not overprotect anything and be loving in dealing with yourself.
I wish you a wonderful, fulfilling and healing year 2021!